Why you should wait: celibacy|Chastity|Sex before marriage|The lies|how to avoid it.

Hello my lovelies, today I would like us to discuss something I think is very important. Sex, celibacy, chastity, the lies and why you should wait until marriage.

Being sexual and sensual is praised these days. We are bombarded with images, songs, hot topics, and news about celebrities and their sexy lifestyles. This is not surprising to me. Abstaining from sexual intercourse is not the norm in our culture.

Before discussing anything, we should know the definitions of what we are talking about.

SEX: Sex means different things to different people. Above all, it is a healthy and natural activity.  It is something most people enjoy and find meaningful even if they create meaning in different ways.

CELIBACY: Celibacy is generally recognized as a voluntary choice to remain unmarried or engage in any form of sexual activity, usually in order to fulfill a religious vow. In this sense, one can accurately be said to be practicing sexual abstinence as a condition of his or her vow of celibacy.

Chastity: Chastity is a voluntary lifestyle that involves far more than abstaining from sexual activity. Coming from the Latin word castitas, meaning “purity,” chastity embraces abstinence from sexual activity as a praiseworthy and virtuous quality according to the standards of morality held by a person’s particular culture, civilization, or religion. In modern times, chastity has become associated with sexual abstinence, particularly before or outside of marriage or other type of exclusively committed relationship.

A straightforward scripture on the subject of sex outside of marriage is in Hebrews 13:4. which states, “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Outside of the marriage relationship, sex categorically weakens relationships but inside marriage, sex is designed by God to strengthen and renew the bond between a husband and wife.

Yes having such desire to have sex is normal, we are humans. But what matters is how you can control yourself. Sexual temptation is something we all face at some point in our lives. Winning the battle against sexual temptation isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s hard to stay strong in a world where sexual purity is laughed at. However, with some good strategies in place, you can win the fight against sexual temptation.

People now make excuses for having sex, like financial situations, not been able to control their sexual desire, peer pressure, society etc.

The consequences of premarital sex are emotionally, physically, and spiritually damaging. Believe me, even though redemption is always waiting, We could have done without the purging process of those sexual encounters. 

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 encourages us to “Run away from sexual sin. Every
other sin people do is outside their bodies, but those who sin sexually sin against their own bodies. You should know that your body is a temple for the Holy Spirit who is in you. You have received the Holy Spirit from God. So you do not belong to yourselves, because you were bought by God for a price. So honor God with your bodies.

 In the present day we live in, people have found their ways around the meaning and some have even turned it to a means of competition which makes it lose its meaning day after day. As Christians, I know we are supposed to keep ourselves till marriage. It sounds hard. I know it’s hard. The sexual frustrations will always come. It’s something I’m sure most of us have encountered.

You not having sex, doesn’t make you abnormal or naive. Don’t let the society make you look foolish by keeping yourself until marriage. Yes it’s not going to be easy, but it’s possible.  If there is one area of life where it feels like Satan is winning the battle, its in the area of sex. And if there is one area where our bodies are screaming out for us to disobey God, its in the area of sex.


1. Everybody does it‘ No. Not everybody is having sex. While the media and people in school may make it seem like everyone is having sex, there are just as many Christians (and even non-Christians, too) waiting until marriage . Doing something just because everyone else is doing it is just giving into peer pressure. It takes a stronger person, or a person backed up by the strength of God, to resist temptation. When you stand up to peer pressure you are actually saving yourself from committing sexual sin.

2. It’s no big deal; Hahahaha Sex is a big deal. There are a lot of emotions and spiritual struggles that come from having had sex outside of marriage. It is one of the reasons God placed such an emphasis on sex and relationships in the Bible. Sex is a beautiful act that comes out of the marriage covenant, and it means more than just an action.

3. Sex and love are the same thing– No. Sex and love are very different, but they are meant to complement one another. If you are in love it does not mean you should have sex. Sex is an act. Love is an emotion. They are very different, and it can be dangerous to mix them up. You should never feel like you have to have sex with someone just because you want to show them you love them. There are plenty of non-sexual ways to show your love to someone.

4. Sex is a minor sin. Pre-marital sex is a sin. Sin is sin. However, it is dangerous to think that sex is a minor or equal sin to all others because it can put you in a frame of mind to make bad choices. Sexual sin is still defiance of God, and no sin is acceptable to God. Yes, you can be forgiven, but you will have to live with the sin you have committed, which can be difficult if you are not prepared to deal with sex emotionally.


1. The battle begins in the mind. You need to know what God says about sex and trust what God says about sex. You need to be careful what you fill your minds with. Imagination is often the hotbed where sin is often hatched. 

2. Pray daily. Depend on God, on the power of His Holy Spirit to strengthen you in this battle.

3. Don’t put yourself in situations where you will be easily tempted. Remember God is watching. You are never completely out of sight. Someone can always see you.

4. Wield the axe. Jesus says in Matt 5 that if your eye or hand causes you to sin, gouge them out and throw them away, because eternal life is at stake. You can begin to feed sexual desires by spending too much time watching the wrong things online and on TV. Be mindful of what you’re watching and what you spend time thinking about. So if the internet, magazines, TV, or peer group are causing you to sin; wield the axe. Especially watch out for Instagram. Unfollow people who are posting explicit photos. 

5. Walk away: If  you’re dating someone, and things start getting heated, don’t be afraid to walk away. Stand up, walk to the other side of the room, leave the area, avoid dark places, cars or whatever seems to work for you. Don’t be afraid to put on the brakes and walk away. You’re in control of your body. If you want to stay sexually pure, you’ll have to make the decision to walk away from situations where you’ll be tempted. Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts. – 2 Timothy 2:22

6. Date someone who is committed to avoiding sexual temptation. You can’t expect to stay sexually pure and date someone who doesn’t have that same value. It doesn’t work like that. You’ve got to find someone who shares that same value and date them. It will make it so much easier in the long run. Date someone who is as committed to staying sexually pure as you are.

Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? – 2 Cor 6:14

7. Forgiveness is available. If you sin sexually you can still be forgiven, such is the power of the cross of Christ. So repent, turn back to God and live for Him. Remember the cross. Jesus died for our sins, including our sexual sins.

Maybe you’ve already had sex, but you can begin waiting today. And sure, maybe sexual sin is something you’ve struggled with for a long time and don’t think you can just stop. So how about taking a first step and asking for God’s help? Are you willing to do that?.

I hope and pray that these tips will help you in this fight. Remember, ‘not even a hint of sexual immorality’ is God’s loving standard for you. Will love to know your thoughts and also share your tips on this topic by commenting below. Please if you found this post helpful, share with your friends and family.

6 thoughts on “Why you should wait: celibacy|Chastity|Sex before marriage|The lies|how to avoid it.

  1. Your post is always very inspiring. This is such an insightful post, yes temptation abounds, one just need the leading and help of God.


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